There are no bars keeping me in, there is no door without a key in.
All the lights are on without a flicker or dim, my soul free to wander out or in.
And yet I stay frozen to one spot, unable to get past the lock that is not.
I sit and stare at my loves fading smile, trapped in the memory of when I could hold her for a while.
I curse myself and my internal latch, that I cannot get loose from this imaginary catch.
My hands are sore, my eyes are weak, my internal light ever-growing darker and bleak.
The man I once was becoming a ghost in time, locked behind this illusion of mine.
Gone of days when life was a dream to catch, why can I not get past this imaginary latch.
There are no bars, there is no steel, why does my mind command me to kneel?
I have no words, only hate, inside this prison I do create.
I scratch a marking on the wall, to remind me I must obey or face the fall.
And fall I do, further still, into this invisible pit I created by the freedom of my own free will.
The hangman’s noose so appealing,
But today is not my time, I remain for the true love of mine.
No illusionist trick, nor jailers whip, will see me lose my iron like grip.
So I will go on inside my imaginary jail,
And yes, there will be a time that I shall prevail.
Copyright © 2017 Charlie Hasler.
The internalization of consciousness in the extremity of angst is so vivid. Anand Bose from Kerala
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Thank you
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I had relations here in Ireland called Hasler, though rather distant. I think some went to Australia
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I cant say apart from family i have ever come across many, I think a few went the states back in the day
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This text, although dark, is absolutely beautifully written. It represents in such a creative way how it is to be trapped with your own thoughts. Amazing.
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Thank you I appreciate that. cheers
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Dear Charlie, I loved your poem, but alas? Never my friend always, always you will prevail. Remember that there is no such thing as perfect because nothing is ever finished … when conclusion looms there is more inspiration to carry you forward again and again in the same or another direction and there are many of us humans who, like you and me, prefer the Georges of this world my friend. Have a good day. Love, David
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Thank you for the kind words David. All the best to you sir
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Your writing is powerful. You have much to say. I’m interested in seeing more.
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Thank you
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You have a wonderful way with words to express your pain. And YES, not alas, you shall prevail. Thank you for your thoughts…
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I see what you mean with alas, not sure why I used that. Changed to yes my friend!
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One’s own demons are the most frightful Charlie, I’ve fought many a battle with mine . I’m 53 and the bastards still haunt me but they never win and never will. Treat them with the contempt they deserve, you can prevail, you can grab your life back. Writing about things is a great way to start exorcising them, ocd, icd, anxiety, depression I’ve fought them all. I wish you the best and a swift recovery brother.
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Thanks mate I appreciate the kind words, I’m on the ropes but will come back strong in the later rounds 👊
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Just thought it would be worth re-visiting this Charlie after reading your up to date stuff. It would seem you’ve always been an Alchemist of word, poet, writer. I was blown away with a big smile on my face the other day when I opened the page and read a piece about the beauty of approaching winter. The change of subject with that piece and Brittany is immense . Just as you said mate, watch the later rounds !
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Cheers Nigel, bizarre as I was thinking about revisiting that post myself today.
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“the lock that is not” love this!
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Thank you very much!
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Beautifully written. I can relate to so much of this poem.
.. these bars and locks in my mind that I feel trapped by. The key is inside me somewhere, in the process of finding it.
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Thank you for the kind comment. Cheers
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Ps it’s frustrating as none of the doors are locked, it’s the knowing it’s all just in my mind that I struggle with, the awareness of the worries not being real is the killer…. For me anyway
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Yes, I sometimes wish I was delusional and believed all the worries were real as if suffering like that would justify how I feel. Also, that comment is in no way intended to put down or be condescending to those who do battle with delusions and/or hallucinations.
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I know exactly what you mean my friend
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Excellent write… most all people can relate to this for some or other time in their life but the true hero and winner is the one who dares to confront..
I wish you more than prevailing.. I wish you thriving… 🙏
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Thank you very much for the kind comment, I will try my best at the thriving bit my friend.
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Beautiful 🙂
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Thank you, I am glad you like it.
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Charlie, you do write strongly and with great emotion.
Open that door, it can’t we worse than the prison you created inside. Please, do come out.
Visit my garden.😊 . I saw with pleasure that you liked it.
Don’t linger any longer.
Miriam
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Beautiful and emotional!
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Thank you very much !
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Deep,,,I love it… And it also brings out lots of nostalgia
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Thank you very much!
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Hello, Charlie! I know your words are here to free you from that which binds and the experience of these things, I can only guess, are not so pleasant, but how you are able to transform that into the feeling of a soothing hug, has made me appreciative of your experience. I hope my expression in response to your work is received with the same warm vibration in which it is given. Thank you for sharing yourself with me.
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Thank you so much for your kind words, they are well received and very much appreciated.
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My pleasure ☺
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Powerful and well written.
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Thank you. Appreciate the comment
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Thanks for the follow Charlie, I’m looking forward to your writings too! 🙂
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Likewise ! Cheers 👍
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😊☺😀🙃
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Hi Charlie,
Very inspiring poem. Your words are very thoughtful. Each day is a day for us to deliver something new to ourselves. Thanks for such nice words.
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Thanks for the positive comment, really appreciate the kind words! Cheers
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The locks that keep us inside is often of our own making. But thank God that is just the reason why we can undo them. Life is never perfect, but that is what gives us a new goal every day. Even nature tells us to take it one day at a time. The sun and the moon brings to us a new day every 24 hours. God made it like that. Great poem. Prayers and love to you!!! God bless.
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Thank you for the kind comment
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My pleasure and thanks a lot for checking out my blog. God bless☺
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So strange and enigmatic are the working of your consciousness. The streams of consciousness writing is so vivid with internalization of imagery, a beautiful surrealist piece of writing. Anand Bose from Kerala
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This is pretty amazing. Thanks for it.
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And thank you for the kind comment, means a lot.
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That last line redeems us all.
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I did not know that I could leave my prison until very recently. It’s scary outside of the prison. I want to run back in, but new confidence holds me firmly just outside of the prison. It’s a constant struggle. I love the way you described the feelings of how difficult it is to leave our comfortable misery.
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