Bastard Page

I do not seek your acceptance; I do not ask for your forgiveness nor offer my repentance, to ones I do not love.
For all the wrongs of my blinded rage,
They were mine to write across my life, its tortured page,
Albeit turned and fresh anew,
On whitest white and written with ink,
Of forgiveness blue.

I held the chickens wishbone stick and could break it with a quick turn, an idle flick, no wish to make, no prayer to drip,
From my godless black spit tongue.
I held the bird aloft, skin of pale, light and down as feathers were soft,
And fading were its dying eyes.

I was the beast in the dark, with darkest stare and silent bark,
And black was my ink-stained page.
Written in hate, bled in rage,
On carved lines I wrote my bastard page.
Words of hate filled by malice did empty and spill from my coward’s chalice,
And how the poison did flow, and course my quivering veins.

Now I write upon my tear-stained page,
Repentant I orbit my bastard page,
Through tears, I call, I cry, to clearest moon, to darkest sky.
I’ve paid my debt; I have served my time, locked in this guilt prison,
Bound by its sentence, created by mine,
My hands of blackest blue.

I am no longer the bastard on the page,
I have no more hate, no more rage,
Flick back a few to see this bastard’s page,
His imprint try to look past,
His clay be broke, his mould be cast,
And left a broken man.

With now my kind eyes are hazed in their sadness dew,
I kneel with head bowed, forgiveness be cast down,
Remove my periled shroud, my burning crown.
Of what was reaped let now be sowed,
And haunt my thoughts no more.

 

 

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Hasler.

 

 

 

31 thoughts on “Bastard Page

  1. I don’t know you, Charlie, but I am fascinated by your work. This was such a powerful poem, but reading your bio made it even more of a powerful message. I also feel like when I write poems it acts as an emotional release for my anxiety 🙂 I genuinely wish you the best in all of your endeavours and I can’t wait to read more of your literature (apologies in advance for the spam you’re gonna get)!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, sincerely appreciate the comment, I have been trying at poetry for about 2 months I don’t really know what iam doing but I just write what I feel and above all, i am honest. It has helped so much I can’t even muster the words that would do justice to the description.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I that’s actually the beauty of poetry – there are literally no rules! But it is amazing to see that somehow, your random arrangement of words can resonate so deeply with another individual. I can’t believe you’ve only been writing for 2 months! I can’t wait to get back into really writing again.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! Your deliverance is amazing and what a beautiful mind! Amazing poetry. Isn’t it amazing how the simple writing of our feelings helps alleviate some of that anxiety? You have a god given talent! I have tried my hand at poetry but it is simple at best. I find writing about my personal experiences and raising awareness is my forte. Now if only I could listen to half of the advice I write about. I don’t know you but I look forward to reading more and learning more about you and your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s very kind of you to say, thank so much. I find with poetry as long as it’s honest and you strip yourself naked on the page you can’t go wrong. I also, think you have a wonderful way with words and I, as the reader, finds reading your words a pleasure and interesting at the same time, that’s a gift.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Ps writing had been more effective than any medication for me. That and some inner grit and refusal to let it consume me has pushed me through. My dad once said to me, and I believe it be correct, “in moments of peril and mental hardship we can left with crystal clarity”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I like that a lot. I wish I could say writing was more effective. They had to rip me from a medication that worked for well over a decade because it was causing physical harm to my body and my anxiety spiraled from there. I have been struggling since to find something that works. I am slowly finding out though, as my boyfriend pointed out to me and we have gotten closer, that peace in the heart, peace in the soul, laughter and love is a natural remedy as well. I find myself more calm in his presence with all these things. This is not my first fall into crippling anxiety. Much like you that refusal to let it consume me helped me bounce right back the first time, after being gaslighted, most days it seems impossible but we all have to take just one day at a time. Best of luck to you.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Uncle Paul was chatting to your Dad…and after all the praise from him about your poetry we just had to google you up! Your poem was extremely moving and so clever. Well done Charlie….Please keep in touch with us….. Gill and Uncle P.

        Like

  3. Thanks Gill, I am very happy you liked it. Its been far to long since our paths crossed, when that time will be, who knows? but of course I will remain in touch. Love to both xx

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s