Letting Go

Fear not the chill of Sundays Monday sorrow,

Or how Saturday once felt,

As Friday’s yesterday,

Tomorrow.

 

Fear not the ones who set the clocks,

Hold high the whips,

Or command the time,

For breaking rocks.

 

Nor the uncharted different planes,

Where wild eyed dreamers’ dream,

Of a woken tomorrow,

Free of pain, free sorrow.

 

And in your moment of now not memory then,

Do not wait for the someone, do not wait for the them,

You are your now,

You were your then.

 

Copyright © 2018 Charlie Hasler.

 

Words From An Unlikely Poet: Volume 2: Further Thoughts

My second book of poems is available at Amazon on Kindle and paperback. Give it a go! ps the ugly mug on the front cover is me.

Following on from the first book, Further Thoughts is one man’s view of the world around him. It is a candid expression of the trials that come with battling mental health demons, the exhaustion that comes with the search and pursuit of happiness and the inner peace that is achieved once finding it.

Selection of Amazon links below:

UK –  https://amzn.to/2w8BSRV

USA –  https://amzn.to/2nFod0U

India –  https://amzn.to/2vGD7Iq

Australia –  https://amzn.to/2MehUQy

Canada –  https://amzn.to/2w97vKX

 

Further Thoughts - Front Cover.jpg

Softer Seeds – (old post)

When I was a boy of my Fathers eye,

Many strands and grey ago,

He walked the world with a softer step,

A softer step with me in tow.

This is how we did wander,

And wander we did go.

 

When I was a lad of my Fathers hands,

Many yesterdays and seasons come,

I learned his words and wisdom,

Forgetting them as I did go.

How I still wander forgetful,

Forgetting as I go.

 

When I was a man of more a lad,

With all my Fathers worry and woe,

I learnt life can be unforgiving,

Unforgiving from the seeds I did sow

And how I have been reaping,

Reaping as I go.

 

Now I am a man that has fell and fallen from my Fathers tree and apples eye,

I see the lessons he was teaching, teaching through clearest sky.

I wish I listened harder, pin pricked and ears true,

How I would be able to wander wiser, wander wiser a man I would go,

And how my seeds would be softer,

Would be softer my seeds to sow.

Copyright © 2017 Charlie Hasler.

OCD, Anxiety, Depression, and other reasons I am not an Astronaut: Part III

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In no particular order:

I remember at a young age my need for routine was ingrained, part of my fibre and core. My Mum tells me she recalls an incident at pre school where my classroom had been moved to a different part of the school and I completely flipped. In a way I am still the same now.

Today for example, my fiancé moved a shoe rack and put it under the stairs instead of downstairs in its home, where it lived and by being downstairs kept the universe in perfect sync. Ok, I didn’t flip out, but I was very concerned for a good half an hour. ‘What if I can’t access my shoes as easy as I could before?’ and other questions of a similar nature circulated my mind until the next thing to be concerned about came into play.

I think that’s how mental health issues can be, in my case I am fuelled by anxiety, which stokes the flames of my OCD which once burnt out makes me depressed, and I am left as just some pile of smoking ash, just about warm but nearly dead (cheery).

I need to get back into my training properly, I enjoyed boxing, I enjoyed running, and I enjoyed the gym. But that is what mental health problems do, take away what you love. I feel in some senses I am still a bit broken, a bit beaten. Since my breakdown in 2017 I feel like a veil has been lifted and I see through different eyes but at the same time the ball and chain weighs just as heavy. I am just very tired all the time.  I need to admit the problem is still there and not see it as failure.

 

(image sourced from Google)