Under the Hammer and Clock

Under the hammer and clock

Promised a diamond

Presented a rock,

Under this hammering clock.

 

Under the hammer and clock

Morning engines tick their tock

Churning their fumes,

Waiting our turns, under the hammering clock.

 

Under the hammer and clock

Weathered lines storm the flock

Masses the stirring brick, cracking the immovable rock,

Hammers continue to stone, this forever hammering clock.

 

Under the hammer and clock

We curse the hammer, we spit at the clock

White as doves our hands crumble,

Ash beneath the dust and eternal hammering clock

 

Under the hammer and clock

We lasso the hand, scramble the rock

Swaying we swing ageing, chime the greys we rock.

Till dust and shadow we sit under, under the hammering clock.

 

 

Copyright © 2019 Charlie Hasler.

Online

Never in such connection,

Have we all felt so alone,

Eyes fixed locked,

To our forever scrolling phone.

 

I remember we had friends once,

Of flesh, blood and bone,

Souls of which we connected,

Now mainly through our phone.

 

A letter had a smell,

A meaning on the page,

The curls of the words whispered,

Now silent, from a bygone age.

 

I miss the meaning of mattering,

Even if I didn’t matter at all,

I felt I had purpose,

Before this empty social drawl.

 

My friend he is around the corner,

But feels a million miles away,

He likes my posts sometimes,

How I hope to see him again someday.

 

We like the world over,

No seas or miles matter,

But we are all so alone,

Despite this social media clatter.

 

Maybe it is a good thing,

Who really knows?

But what about the negatives,

Do they outweigh the pros?

 

And yet here I sit,

The irony is not lost,

Searching for my meaning,

When all meaning feels so lost.

 

 

Copyright © 2018 Charlie Hasler.

 

 

 

 

World Mental Health Day

I can tell you from personal experience regarding mental health that it does get easier, in time you will make it.

I think that is what Dylan was getting at, the below poem, in my opinion was not just about death, but about life as well, don’t just wither away and die.

Never give up.

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Back To The Stars,

No more searching inside the well of excuses,
The well will always be full,
The bucket will always be empty.
Plenty,
There always is, 
Plenty of time to waste,
Until there isn't.
Only hindsight,
Forever hindsight,
Forever waste.
No risks,
No trying,
Only excuses,
Always tomorrow.
Comfortable tomorrow, 
Cozy as a sock,
Warmed and woolen wool,
Perched comfy,
Fat cat comfy,
Old lady winter comfy,
Dying.
Perched on this comfortable not so well and worried wall.
Time stalks the blind, 
Always remembering,
Ticking on.
Listen close,
Hear the tick and tock, 
Ticking and tocking,
Time,
Mine,
Yours,
Ours,
Chiming the excuses away,
Today.
Excuses that line the hindsight wall,
In regretful jars,
Made forever by forever facing mirrors,
Reflected Into the eternal void of,
I, wish and had.
Through hands and open fingers the heart and life slip back,
Back to the stars,
The repeating seed,
The grain,
The ended dust,
Where the only three that matter exist;
Before, 
Once,
Never,
Into the perpetual always yesterday,
Now all rear views,
And lumps in the throat.


Copyright © 2018 Charlie Hasler





Saturday Food Shop

Saturday,

Up, after extra 4-minute lie in,

Breakfast,

Extra butter, its Saturday,

Shower,

Bring iPad in bathroom,

Create playlist,

14 mins later,

Name playlist,

“Shower playlist”,

Rush shower,

Only play half of one song,

Dry,

Clothes, scruffy wear, shop wear,

Not bothered how I look wear

Is bothered,

Is so incredibly, mystifyingly, bothered.

Drive to food shop,

Slight weekend euphoria in the air,

Remember that thing that needs sorting,

Merry go round it starts to turn in my head,

Round,

Round,

Round,

Stress about thing,

Round,

Plan to do an easier thing.

Back to food shop drive,

Man, with yappy demanding dog,

Wait no, my mistake,

That’s his child, drinking an energy drink,

No doubt a potential future genius,

Or failing that,

Placed on the spectrum somewhere,

Never just,

Average.

Early morning runner smashing #goals, coming in the opposite direction,

Incredibly depressed once, not anymore,

Fair play.

Arrive at shop,

Shop the for big shop,

Big Saturday shop,

Rock and roll.

Knows the isles of by heart,

Up,

Down,

Pick up,

Put back,

Head for something over on that rack.

See man getting it in the ear,

From his darling

Dear,

Oh dear, poor bloke,

I reckon he is called Nigel, looks like a Nigel, was a wild-eyed wanderer back in the day,

What day was that Nigel?

Don’t ask him, he can’t remember, the memory has been pecked out of him.

Move past,

Engage evasive manoeuvres for lady pushing pram,

Sorry I didn’t move quick enough,

I will dive faster next time,

Mother with child everyone, coming through! I call,

To alert the others in her path,

War path,

He dosent look at me the same path,

He likes that woman in work I know he does path,

She’s younger path,

Should never have had kids’ path,

Can’t you see I have a pram?

Path.

Hit till now,

Right, let’s have it,

Fire my items down the black rolling strip to the tone of the beep,

Person on check out dosent even register me,

Registers everything else though,

Hawk eye, fastest scanner in the West,

Pay,

Already guessed amount,

Being the “Rain Man” shopper I am,

Leave,

Pack car with items,

What did I forget?

I always do,

To hell with it, I’ll just have to chance it,

I got to get out of here,

Chest tightens,

Sweat forming on back,

Flushed,

Rushed,

I can’t go back,

They will all know I forgot something,

Tut,

Followed by the subtle eye roll.

Forget it,

I am off,

Worst case scenario,

I can stop at another shop,

Ha!

Solved that crisis,

Like a champion.

 

 

Copyright © 2018 Charlie Hasler.

 

 

 

Speed

Drive to work,

Average car, average speed,

Watch fuel, watch speed,

Turn on news,

Trump tweets, Putin, Brexit,

Turn off news,

Arrive, same destination, same time, ish,

 

Leave car, start on foot, want to laugh at something funny I heard the other day, can’t would look mental,

Smiling now, bite inner mouth to stop,

Stopped,

Uniform socially acceptable vacuous expression back on,

Chest eases,

Breath,

Attractive couple walk past,

He loves himself,

She hates herself.

 

Pit stop,

Homogenised coffee chain,

Familiar coffee, safety coffee,

Overpriced coffee, indifferent coffee,

Reusable cups, I should do my bit, think of sea life,

Never end up getting one, pang of guilt,

Good idea though, uniform coffee ready,

That’s 1.6 million pounds please, only ordered a medium?

Exaggerated smile,

Same time tomorrow,

Back to scowl.

 

Resume death march,

Should park closer,

Enter building, scan to get in,

Take lift,

Should take stairs, Fitbit, steps,

#Goals, seeking perfection, never enough, failure,

See another person, hello, don’t care,

Pretend to care, goodbye,

Aim for desk,

Sit. Die inside.

 

Working now,

Doing work stuff

Now,

Now,

Now, like a machine gun,

Now,

Email stuff now,

Talking work now,

Rushed now,

Everything ends up later……now,

It keeps the lights on work, going to explode work, flip my desk work,

I will tomorrow, out in a verbal blaze of glory,

Then oh shit,

Time to go, check Fitbit, #goals, more failures, chasing star bursts, why?

Its not that bad, means to an end, as they say, who is they?

 

Travel home, dinner, already prepped, save time,

Piggy bank time, for kids I don’t have yet, don’t like kids, for tomorrow, never today,

Healthy, clean, green, cardboard flavour, nicer than unhealthy,

No, it isn’t,

Prefer a burger, can’t, not Saturday,

Watch waistline, why? happy how I am,

Shouldn’t be, could be better, but make sure you are body confident,

But be healthy,

But be beautiful,

But be body confident,

But be healthy,

But be beautiful,

But be body confident,

Another machine gun, but but but but,

But find a balance,

In a time of tight ropes.

 

 

Copyright © 2018 Charlie Hasler